For those of you who associate romance with eyeliner and songs about death, you can now purchase an “Unholy Matrimony” wedding package, where you’ll start off your marriage the right way…with Ozzy Osbourne.

Here’s the details of the package as listed in the press release:

    “As with other wedding packages, the one-stop Unholy Matrimony Packages provides just about everything the happy couple will need…except a marriage license.”

Further details of this unbeatable package are as follows:

    “Each special package includes a variety of items to mark the special day and 10 general admission pit tickets for the bride & groom and 8 guests; an official Ozzfest wedding ceremony by ordained minister, Ozzfest’s MC Big Dave; an Ozzfest cake and champagne toast.”

We’re intrigued, but also nervous about the catastrophic amounts of eyeshadow and white face paint that will inevitably run on our suits and dresses following inevitable wedding crying. Is it worth the risk?